I knew I needed to go up. I’m climbing this ginormous African mountain in just a few weeks. I’ve got to be ready. So I knew, absolutely knew down to my bones, that I needed to go someplace tough and really dig my boots into the dirt. I went backpacking last week and that was good–especially for the elevation–but it’s not enough. So I had a Monday day off and it wasn’t raining and I didn’t need to see my family–the two biggest obstacles in the way of just about everything–but I was feeling really lazy. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to go last night. I didn’t want to go this morning. The entire prospect of devoting my day to hiking just felt…bleh.
This happens to me. It happens to all of us, right? Actors: sometimes you don’t want to audition or go to class or go to yet another rehearsal. Musicians: do you always want to stay at home and practice the guitar? What basketball player wants to stand pat and practice freethrows? Some days you just don’t want to do anything. It’s how we are. Laziness is our default. Somewhere down the line we tricked ourselves into working hard and so here we are, stuck with determination.
So what did I do? I know what I would usually do. I would usually not go. I’d put it off until tomorrow or tonight, or some other undetermined time. I’m proud of myself though because instead of being the lazy asshole I normally am, I actually left my house and did it. I filled up my water bladder, I packed a couple of Cliff bars, an avocado, a kiwi, and planned to be up and back by this afternoon. Good boy.
I parked at Manker Flats campground–the jumping off point for the Hut Route up Baldy–and prepared my gear: one backpack, a pair of socks, a light shirt, a rain jacket in case it got windy at the summit, sunscreen, glasses, multitool, fully stocked first aid kit, and one pair of waterproof boots which I can say–after backpacking in them for three days last week, and dancing in them Saturday night when I had no shoes with me–are absolutely, most certainly, pick your adjective, finally broken in. There’s one problem I couldn’t get past though.
I didn’t bring them with me! So there I am, 40 minutes from home, with all the gear needed for a solid butt kicking hike except the one item I really do need. A foundation.
I wasn’t really upset. Remember, I didn’t want to go in the first place. But isn’t it funny how if you’re not diligent enough, your lazy asshole side can still find a way to undercut the good side. How does that happen to everyone else? Strong am I in the force; but not that strong. I’ll see you up there Friday instead.
© 2013 Christopher Dart